it really feels so fucked up! Having to hear all my friends going out for raya, they even plan it without telling me early! What the hell! I also want to go and have fun. Now getting to know my sweetheart is going out raya with here sec school mates really break my heart. If i tell her not to go i'll be a very selfish guy by not leeting other have fun due to i dont get what i want. I'm not an asshole who do that but its kind of hurt my feeling.
I wanted to go with them so badly! I really want but time do not allow me to. Working on all those day then planed the outing really feel so shitty. What could i do? The only thing now is that i'm letting go how i feel on this blog where i hardly update nor look at it. Wondering what to do now is really not helping my mind. I really hates this years raya due to this fucking ns. I dont get the taste of my freedom like i use to. What the fuck sia.
I justt dont want to be selfish nor a heartless person, i just want everyone include me to be happy. But its not going the way i want. haix....living with shitty life.
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