what the hell...

it really feels so fucked up! Having to hear all my friends going out for raya, they even plan it without telling me early! What the hell! I also want to go and have fun. Now getting to know my sweetheart is going out raya with here sec school mates really break my heart. If i tell her not to go i'll be a very selfish guy by not leeting other have fun due to i dont get what i want. I'm not an asshole who do that but its kind of hurt my feeling.

I wanted to go with them so badly! I really want but time do not allow me to. Working on all those day then planed the outing really feel so shitty. What could i do? The only thing now is that i'm letting go how i feel on this blog where i hardly update nor look at it. Wondering what to do now is really not helping my mind. I really hates this years raya due to this fucking ns. I dont get the taste of my freedom like i use to. What the fuck sia.

I justt dont want to be selfish nor a heartless person, i just want everyone include me to be happy. But its not going the way i want. haix....living with shitty life.

what a outing...

my hari raya outing wasnt the way i wanted it to be. I got to only visit only a couple of house...haiz..so sad sia. My outing with my family started late due to my sis. She is always late and slow. Haiz....

Forget about my sis. My outing started out two days ago on my off day. To my thought i dont want to waste my off for someone who is late. Hiaz...

It was so doring on that day, i did had alot of fun. It was soo dull etc. If you guys were to come along, i do think you die of boredness..haix...

Today i dont have anything in my mind. I will update this soon. Muach!

1st day of raya!

Hari raya, is the day where all muslim ask for forgiveness for all their sins. That is what i think. hahah...

It is kind of sad to see all the muslim family doing their house visit. Visiting their elders and giving them respect. I wish that i'm able to do that so but too bad i have to come to work. What a way to enjoy my holidays.

Having to do visiting to some respected houses is the thing that i'm looking forward to do tomorrow. That is not only the things that i'm looking forward for, I really cant wait to meet my sweetheart very soon. I really miss her so much and i cant stand not seeing her for days, weeks or months not even an hour(that is like way too much, do you think?)

I really just cant wait to do this two things rite now. I miss my family, my sweetheart and my friends.

till here i end!

holiday

wow! Hari raya is coming! That is sooo damn great but too bad i got to work. Working during holiday have been going around for a couple of time for me. Hate to work on holiday and also during weekend. This is life! Haix...i wish that my life was like some superstar or even 8ill Gates!

Having thier life is so damn wonderful. Having no needs to worry about money problem, only need to worry about just getting rob, hahaha.

Alot of things have been going in my mind now. Thinking how the hell i'm going to play my phone bill and also my school. Working as a fireman(NS) is not paying that much! This really suck! I hope in the future none of this wouldn't come back. The only things that i joy now is being loved by my sweetheart(hasanah atiqah) and also my fellow bandmates, with them life is so damn wonderful! Love having them around! The only thing i'm looking for is to spent time with my sweet heart soon for Hari Raya.

Till here i end!

having fun

life is something that you sould not waste, even while your are surfing ns. I really learn it the hard way. I have lost my wonderful time in my station, to be stuck in the office to be an auditer for fire station. But the good thing is that its not for life, its just 2 years of it.

I have miss those traing life. Miss all those carzy thing my fellow mates and me, doning stupid stuff just to pass out as a fireman. Yes its wonderful, having the bond with a compelet strangers. Hahah. If i could trun back time just to start all over again. I would love to! But now i could only accept the fact that i could not trun back time and just live with it. Haix....What a sad life.

Till here my readers. Sorry if my english is abit broken!